The Aged P

…just toasting and ruminating….

Archive for the 'USA' Category

17 January
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Fearless UK Telegraph Hack Thinks Michelle Obama Is Simply Wonderful…..

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Peter Foster, The Daily Telegraph’s hack-in-residence across the pond, pens a hymn of praise for Michelle Obama’s 50th birthday that would be the envy of every ambitious scribbler in Pyongyang. In his determination to ferret out the truth he fearlessly tracks down a cross section of everyday ordinary American folks who just happen to part of the Obama circle, fixes them with a steely eye and throws them the killer question.

On a scale of ten to ten just how wonderful a person is Michelle Obama?

I used to think Mark Mardell at the BBC had cornered the market in this type of sycophantic drivel but Foster has played a blinder here. Both of the Obamas are political hacks spawned by the corrupt Daley Chicago machine. Both have an invented back story which covers up the fact that they were eased along the political food chain by patronage and influence rather than achievement. But then what can one expect from “journalists” who merely regurgitate the wishful thinking mythology of the US media/cultural elite?

But brace yourselves, folks – Mr Foster is only using this as dry run for his forthcoming puff pieces on Hillary Clinton so make certain you stock up with sick bags…

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15 October
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Breaking News: Queen Elizabeth II Sacks Barack Obama

via the inestimable Michael Yon  ….a spoof, of course, but it might touch a few nerves…

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To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ”like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the elimination of ‘-ize.’

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

 

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15 July
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UK Daily Mail Hacks Bigging Up Skittles As Symbol Of Trayvon Martin’s Harmlessness Might Backfire…

 

America gripped by second night of fury over not guilty verdict for neighbourhood watch man who shot black teenager armed only with a bag of Skittles

 

A quartet of low level  UK Daily Mail hacks who appear to get paid for cutting and pasting “human interest” stories from the US media could not resist parroting the “skittles” meme so beloved of those who portray Trayvon Martin as just some innocent kid walking along the street with a packet of sweets.

In a rather unbalanced piece which veers dangerously near to sympathising with  the “miscarriage of justice” mantra being orchestrated by both the radical left and the liberal elite there is, unsurprisingly, no reference to the longstanding  pre trial campaign mischaracterising and denigrating George Zimmerman waged by the establishment media.

Initially seized upon by the Democrats as an opportunity to kickstart Obama’s 2012 campaign it has now been hijacked not just by old time race card hustlers like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton but also by the tarnished apparatchiks of the Obama administration who see it as a useful tool to divert attention from their own lacklustre performance.

But skittles as a symbol of innocence might not be such the match winning factor that the shallow Mail scribblers obviously hoped for. We know that Martin’s high school career was not particularly trouble free and that he might well have not been unfamiliar with marijuana. It has also been suggested that the possession of skittles and fruit juice are two thirds of the recipe for something a little more streetworthy.

Not that the Mail and others would allow a burgeoning myth to be deflated by a cooler appraisal of events. After all  we all remember how that Tawana Brawley proved such a useful martyr for Al Sharpton…

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14 June
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Sarah Palin Is Back In Town..And This Quote Says It All…

Quote of the day from Hot Air comments re Sarah Palin returning to Fox

 

Here is my bottom line up front: Palin is right far more times than she is wrong, and is right far more times than most of the current elected GOP leadership. The fact that she has yet another platform to get her views and analysis out there is a GOOD thing.

For those folks who have a problem with her accent, her folksy humor, and her overall presentation, I humbly suggest that you turn the monitor volume down, and just be thankful that she is on the side of conservatives who want to save the country.

As a native Philadelphian raised in Upstate NY, I am good with her Alaskan twang, and would rather listen to her than to stomach one more syllable from some jack wagon in the Northeast or Left Coast who think themselves mightier than the rest of us (and thus more capable of running the country).

She’s no goddess, no saint, no single fountain of all that is good and right, but she is still more effective than so many who secretly wish they had her platform, her raw rockstar power, and her blessings.

Living and loving life, while living rent-free in the minds of statists and haters… Sarah Palin is one fortunate woman.

itzWicks on June 13, 2013 at 10:45 PM

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11 April
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The Pseudo “Revolutionary” Who Wants To Dance On Thatcher’s Grave – What Would Erika Have Said If She Was Still Alive?

This is Romany Blythe, the drama teacher who encouraged everyone to piss on Margaret Thatcher’s grave. Note her mock heroic stance in this picture. Like all these ersatz revolutionaries she is a poseur, pretending to be a freedom fighter in a world of comfort and tolerance. The red flag with the soviet hammer and sickle is a fashion statement.

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This is, or was, Erika. She was a young student who was a real revolutionary. She and thousands of other brave Hungarians came out onto the streets of Budapest in 1956 to demonstrate against the communists who ran the puppet regime that governed Hungary on behalf of the Russian Soviet Union. She holds a gun because the regime’s secret police tried to break the demonstrations. When the Russian Red Army, flying the hammer and sickle flag carried by Romany Blythe, moved in to crush the uprising, Erika and her friends fought against their tanks with rifles, sub machine guns and petrol bombs.

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They failed.

The Red Army’s hammer and sickle was triumphant and a new puppet communist regime brought back the secret police, the execution blocks and the prison camps. Erika was dead, killed in the last hours of the fighting while trying to help her wounded comrades. The dead hand of communist dictatorship gripped Hungary and the rest of Eastern Europe once again.

Western governments accepted the iron grip of Communism in Eastern Europe and Russia as a fact of life to be accommodated. Many voices in western academic and cultural circles, being of a Marxist bent, celebrated it.

Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan were the first western leaders to publicly denounce those communist regimes as evil and oppressive and, by implication, illegitimate. At a time when internal stresses and strains were beginning to distort the social and economic fabric of these tyrannies the impact of external condemnation from such influential voices were important factors in causing the red regimes to implode.

And in October 1989, 33 years after the uprising, Hungary became a free multi party democracy. How sad that Erika could not have been in the crowds celebrating that moment but, no doubt ,her spirit, and those of all those other courageous freedom fighters who died with her, was smiling down from above.

What would Erika have made of Romany Blythe’s theatrical posturing and ghoulish disrespect of Margaret Thatcher?

Not much, I suspect.

Probably with as much contempt as Lech Walesa and those of his Solidarity comrades who had welcomed her to Gdansk in 1988 when it was still under communist rule.

Those on the Left who still probably regard Thatcher as a hate-figure, have either forgotten the history of the Cold War or possibly never understood that Communism meant the virtual enslavement of millions of people in the East European countries, who loathed its ideology as much as Margaret Thatcher herself. It is simply not possible to imagine Thatcher visiting Russia in the 1930s, like certain Left-wing useful idiots from Britain, and being taken in by Stalin’s propaganda machine. Ordinary East Europeans took a different view of her to her critics in this country. For them she symbolised opposition to Communism; indeed she was given a tumultuous welcome by the shipyard workers in Gdansk when she visited them. She wept at the sight. The shipyard workers would have been puzzled to learn of the refusal of Oxford University, her old alma mater and one of the most prestigious universities in the world, to give her an honorary degree.

Amen to that, say I – and I am sure the spirit of Erika would agree….

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08 March
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The US Heritage Foundation Says “Hey Obama…Do The Right Thing Over The Falklands”

At last – an American voice calling out Obama for kowtowing to the Latin American left on Argentina’s posturings over The Falklands (actually it’s a British voiceover for a vid produced by a US think tank)

Grateful thanks to our friends at The Heritage Foundation

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22 February
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The Falklands – Obama Sends Cameron A Turd In Return for All That Fawning…

So all Cameron’s brown nosing of President Obama and his Chicago Machine administration produces nothing but this stinking turd….

A FRESH transatlantic row has blown up after the US said it will not recognise next month’s Falklands referendum.

But then maybe Obama and his mates think that voting in the Falklands referendum will be organised in Chicago style with people voting early – and often – and the dead arising from their graves to cast their ghostly ballot.

Time, perhaps, to swiftboat the new US Secretary of State John Kerry. This could never have been done to St Hillary, as much the idol of the media/political elite as Obama but now she has briefly returned to Mount Olympus, Mr Kerry, a rather seedy and timeworn suit, needs to be the target of some home truths IF (and it’s a massive IF) Cameron and co have the cojones to do it……

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01 February
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Obama Sends Plagiarist Biden To UK To Tell Us EU Is Wonderful…..

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Obama must be worried about David Cameron’s decision to hold an in/out referendum on UK’s membership of the EU – he is sending VP Joe Biden to London to issue a stern warning.

Wow

Joe Biden – the man who proves that getting into politics is a better way of making a family fortune than developing software or building a supermarket chain…..no risks, minimal effort and zero intelligence needed – just the right contacts.

Biden will apparently wag his finger at Cameron and emphasise how important it is for the USA to have a strong UK in a strong EU – that’s if he can get all those letters in the right order for Biden is the American version of John Prescott, a dim-witted blowhard who has risen to the top powered purely by his own methane.

Of course if he had been a Republican he would have been Dan Quayled years ago but we all know that a complicit US media never goes against Democrats who are also drunks, druggies, thieves , sexual predators…..or, in Joe’s case, brainless.
After all this is the man who plagiarised a speech from ……Neil Kinnock!!!!!

What a wonderful world……

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14 January
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A Universal Truth….Piers Morgan = “a pathetic, deeply unserious mountebank”

It couldn’t have happened to a nastier guy – pompous, self righteous media slimeball Piers Morgan (aka Piers Moron) only had a day or so to enjoy the plaudits of his Tina Brown/BBC/Guardian groupies after radio wingnut oddball Alex Jones imploded on his CNN show when the Moron himself was skewered and toasted by Breitbart.com’s Ben Shapiro

As Roger Kimball pointed out

Morgan is, as Ben says, a bully of the first water, a man whose delight in mud slinging was too much even for the bottom-feeding British tabloid the Daily Mirror, which fired him for publishing fake photos of British soldiers supposedly abusing Iraqi prisoners. Morgan is one of those liberals whose unshakable self-infatuation compels him to treat disagreement as a sort of moral heresy. His contemptuous—and contemptible—treatment of his guests makes for intermittently entertaining, if also cringe-making, television. But as Ben demonstrates, Morgan’s habit of contempt renders him a pathetic, deeply unserious mountebank.

Very true, Roger….which is why his departure from our scepter’d isle to the further shores of CNN was such a day of jubilation over here….

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11 January
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Heard this one? “An American, a German and a banker were in the EU bar and told a Brit he couldn’t leave….”

Well, just when the great and the good were hoping that UKIP might be losing momentum because Dave was going to make His Great Speech about having a vote on renegotiating that EU directive on turnips rather than a straightforward in/out referendum the genie jumps out of the lamp and grants Nigel Farage and his party three golden opportunities.

The speech is still some way off but already dire warnings have been issued by “business leaders” (bankers – yeah, they have proven to be so upright honest and businesslike) – CBI (aka big global corporations) – and assorted suits. “We will lose out on exports to the EU” they cry. Excuse me? Presumably EU countries buy our stuff because it meets their needs, not out of charity for the UK.

Then some smooth US State Department poobah says that President Obama wants us to stay in the EU as a bagman for the USA since the French and the Germans, who actually run the EU, have never been fond of America. Also, of course, Obama and his henchmen are still wedded and glued to that old 1950s shibboleth of regional superstates – after all they are working hard to undermine the powers of the individual US states and upgrade federal power (Obamacare, Stimulus, gun control etc). A Washington/Brussels Axis would be so much easier to manage with no pesky politicians upsetting the apple carts – just the bureaucrats and diplomats codifying and making deals in cosy conferences.

Then, of course, the entry of the ultimate cartoon character, the German..

Gunther Krichbaum, chairman of Germany’s European affairs committee and acting as Angela Merkel’s ventriloquist’s dummy, used a visit to Britain to condemn Dave’s referendum tactics. “Ve distrust allowing ze voters to have any say in ze way ze EU is run. Ve know vot ze people vant much better than zey do und ve vill not be blackmailed into renegotiating ze EU Turnip Directive” (well he didn’t actually say that but it sums up the gist of his blathering)

With the carpet being pulled away from under Dave’s feet his Master Plan (kick in/out into the long grass by waffling on about renegotiation) is already looking like last weekend’s pizza. Several of the Tory government’s big guns have noticed UKIP snapping at their heels in recent polls and are leaning towards a referendum on in/out rather than one on a cobbled together list of renegotiated powers.

Which is why Nigel Farage’s UKIP has been given this good fairy gift. A banker, an American and a German telling us that we shouldn’t even have a referendum on our relationship with the EU? That will make most of us even more determined to demand one – because, oddly enough, what is good for global banks, Barack Obama and Angela Merkel does not always align with what is good for Britain.

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