The Aged P

…just toasting and ruminating….

My Highly Nuanced Take On Celia Walden’s UK Daily Telegraph Vomit Inducing Piece On Will, Kate & Hollywood

Celia Walden at the DT tells us all exactly what we want to know – how Hollywood awaits Will and Kate with bated breath and botoxed cheeks.

It really is a toss up as to who writes the the biggest amount of Polly Filla guff in the Daily Telegraph….Celia Walden or Bryony Gordon. Of course perhaps neither of them actually exist. Instead there might be an IT programme called “Breathless Brown Noser” originally developed at CNN towards the end of 2008 for items about the Obamas and Clintons.

The programme generates well worn adoration clichés by itself – all the operator has to do is insert specific “celebrity” names which then appear to imply that the “writer” is also a regular at these events while we, the ordinary public, are like the poor kids with our noses pressed against the window watching the gods and goddesses at play.

Maybe Celia and Bryony aren’t real people getting paid six figure salaries for scribbling crapola. Instead – given the massive downsizing tsunami accompanying the Telegraph’s transformation into the Daily Mail for Waitrose shoppers – it’s all being done by a seedy, sweaty tabloid hack on a supermarket shelfstackers wages.

The tragedy is that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge do appear to be a genuinely nice young couple, attractive and lively who have caught the imagination of millions across the globe.

In a world often overshadowed by grim economic forecasts and the threats of death cult fanatics they symbolise the portents of an alternative more optimistic future.

Of course they are not Ordinary People Like Us. Kate was once but she is now in a different world.

Of course the photos and TV clips are embellishments of artifice – but so is almost everything else we see in the media. It’s a World of Spin, folks where even Guardianistas like Polly(Tuscany villas) Toynbee pretend to be against the toffs.

But put it this way –who would you rather see your kids and grandkids take as role models for their future, the royal couple or the narcissistic posturing PR puffed nebbishes of Hollywood and the right hand sidebar of the Daily Mail?

They deserve better than airhead Walden and her Hello style ramblings. But, let’s face it, the once mighty Daily Telegraph has followed along the primrose path to perdition by converting itself into a gossip rag. Thank goodness I gave up wasting money on buying this dross and just peruse it online for free. Rumours of a DT paywall still float around. It would indeed give me a perverse feeling of delight to refuse to contribute to the household accounts of dimwits like Walden and Gordon.

posted by david in media,USA and have Comments Off on My Highly Nuanced Take On Celia Walden’s UK Daily Telegraph Vomit Inducing Piece On Will, Kate & Hollywood

Make Prince William’s Chocolate Biscuit Cake For Yourself….

This was one of the two cakes commissioned by William and Kate for their wedding. The chocolate cake was William’s boyhood foody fetish.

Prince William has asked McVitie’s to create one of his favourite sweet treats that will provide an alternative to the official royal wedding cake by Fiona Cairns.

The confectionery delight is being created by the biscuit company at one of its UK plants to a recipe they have received from Buckingham Palace kitchen chefs.

As a young boy the Prince used to enjoy the cake, which is made from crushed rich tea biscuits and dark chocolate.

Please note – Rich Tea biscuits, NOT Digestives!

The royal family said that the dark chocolate to make it could come from anywhere, but the only acceptable biscuits were Rich Tea ones.

Paul Courtney, Cake Design and Development Head Chef told The Telegraph, “Rich Tea are perhaps not the most glamorous biscuits in the world, and now they are taking a starring role in the royal wedding. But they’re quite crisp compared to a digestive, and so they’ll contrast well with the softness of the chocolate.”

The Lovely Mrs P felt it was her patriotic duty to use the very same recipe to grace the table of our more humble abode here in West Sussex.

It was delicious.

It was more than delicious it was the nectar of the gods – and very very rich…

I wish I could provide you with a picture of our cake – but we ate it…every single crumb.

This is what you need

225g Rich Tea Biscuits

115g Salted Butter

3 rounded tablespoons of cocoa powder

55g of caster sugar (superfine sugar)

2 heaped tablespoons Golden Syrup

115g plain chocolate (zero milk) sweet chocolate, not cooking [semisweet]chocolate


Line 20cm cake tin

Roughly crush biscuits in plastic bag with rolling pin

Melt butter and add caster sugar, cocoa powder and Golden Syrup

Melt chocolate and add to mixture with crushed biscuits

Spoon mixture into tin and leave in fridge

Decorate with melted chocolate and/or icing sugar

Then eat – and enjoy……..

For additional info – watch this….

posted by david in Uncategorized and have Comments Off on Make Prince William’s Chocolate Biscuit Cake For Yourself….

Reflections On The Royal Wedding

We sat down at 9.30am and watched the whole thing until THE KISS four hours later.

Didn’t intend to.

At my age this history/politics junkie tends towards the cynical and, of course, being a man prefers to maintain a cool mask of disdain while the ladies wax lyrical over weddings and babies.

Plus I’m always suspicious of crowds.

But the sheer enthusiasm and goodwill of the people who came to watch disarmed my pessimism. They didn’t come to demand more of my taxes to featherbed their public sector salaries. They weren’t breaking windows or urinating on statues because they would have less money to spend on pizzas and beer in their student unions. Their faces were not distorted by hate and anger in order to intimidate an elected government into bending to the will of an unrepresentative minority.

They came as individuals, families, neighbours and friends of their own free will to celebrate a joyous event. They came with banners, flags and placards that proclaimed a patriotic pride and messages of affection and goodwill for two young people who were about to make a public pledge of love and commitment .

Nobody ordered them to come. There were no committees of busybodies telling them which slogans to chant. They came of their own free will. There were one million of them. Young, old, fat, thin, posh and poor they represented the real people of Britain, the folk who do their jobs, pay their taxes and keep the country going and seldom make a fuss. Today was their day and they made it their own.

Of course there needed to be police and many of them armed, not to keep the crowds in order for they disciplined themselves but to prevent evil fanatics and poisonous misfits from performing their street theatre of hate and death.

The bride was beautiful, the groom was handsome, the ceremony was dignified and majestic and the pageantry pitch perfect, but for me, as a father and grandfather, the moment that really touched my heart was how tightly Catherine held her father’s hand as the service began. This is a woman who comes from a loving family and therefore knows how to love.

It augurs well for the future, I fancy….

posted by david in Uncategorized and have Comments Off on Reflections On The Royal Wedding

Get every new post on this blog delivered to your Inbox.

Join other followers: